hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
