no, he came in my armpit
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
