I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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