How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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