pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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