I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
