saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
