dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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