Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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