ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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