i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
