I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
