We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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