wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
