can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
