I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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