I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
