I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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