its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
