If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
