Can Purell be used as lube?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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