Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize