My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
