So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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