i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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