no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
