Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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