my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
