I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
