I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
