So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
