Buhtt sex?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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