mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
