Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
