STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
