i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
