I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
