I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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