In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
