Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't deserve a penis
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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