He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
