pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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