ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
