That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
