I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
