We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
