i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize