I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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