now i know why i became what i already was.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
