so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
