What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
vagina is talking i cant
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize