i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
birth control should be required to get into college
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
