and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
