butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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