U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
