I've blown a few things in my day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
