fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
