Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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