And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize