He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize