you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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